*sometimes you just need to love.*

the ring dings, biggie coke, and ruffles are gone.

so. i dont know whats wrong with me. but there must be something wrong. ive been an emotional WRECK the last 3 days. i cried 5 different times today, AND i screamed for well over 10 minutes about work on 2 separate occasions, also today.

so im sitting here, with my biggie coke, my ring dings, my cheddar & sour cream ruffles, my chewy sweet tarts, and my rice krispie treat. because i had a craving for ALL of this at 10 oclock at nite. what the fuck?!?!?

ive been at work for 9 days straight if you count today [which was my DAY OFF] working with the same 10 people every day [cause thats our ENTIRE staff right now!], selling my ass off cause we're in sale mode, keeping the floor stocked [cause thats my old job], running shipment lines virtually by myself cause i have no stock team, and hating all but one person on my staff, and shes just a sales associate. the past 3 weeks in a row, ive had to go to work on at least one of my scheduled days off. also in the past three weeks, i have gotten screwed out of PLANS made WEEKS in advance with FRIENDS 3 times. i am SICK AND TIRED of this crap. i hate hate hate the place i work at. i never thought id say that. i love the company i work for. but the store im in is such a disaster that no amount of MY help is going to fix it. ive tried. ive been trying for over 2 months now. i give up. i fucking give up. i cant destroy my mental and physical health for some place that doesnt give two shits. next time they ask me to do something above and beyond my duties im going to tell them to go to hell. straight to hell. then maybe theyll experience my life. cause i feel like im in hell at this place. i DREAD going to work everyday. and that is NOT ME.

i was even so stressed out today that i smoked a clove knowing full well that my mom would catch me and give me hell for it. somehow i escaped her wrath. maybe because i screamed and cried for close to 30 minutes in front of her at lunch today. i cried twice at work tonite. in front of customers. and i didnt care. all i did all nite was fold crap. i think i spoke to like 5 customers, and only when they spoke to me first. i was the most unproductive, unhappy worker bee tonite. and i dont care. my HOS knows. i told her what i think of this situation. [cry #2 at work] and how im NOT doing this again. she reassured me by telling me how many people she hired today and how many interviews she has for tomorrow. great. just great. i dont want to hear that crap. i already know all that crap. just tell me when i can have a freakin MENTAL HEALTH DAY.

because i fuckin need it. dumb bitch.

written @ 11:54 pm on 28.09.04
< * >