*sometimes you just need to love.*

not yet...

well kiddies...im back to having a day-dreamy life.

i talked to josh last nite on the phone...and im afraid it didnt go as i had hoped it would.

we talked for almost an hour and it was nervewracking as all hell. there were so many silences and awkward pauses were neither one of us knew what to say. but we talked about friday nite...and i said it was nice and i didnt regret anything...and he said he liked it too...and my hopes were reaching the ceiling. so i suggested that we needed to decide what to do about this and that we had 2 options:

1. go for a relationship and hope its awesome and they we dont end up breaking up and hating each other...cause id never want to lose him as a friend.

2. forget it ever happened and just carry on with life as ususal.

now...theres no way in hell im ever going to be able to carry on as if nothing ever happened, but i can try my hardest right? right.

so we decide that its best for now to just be friends...he's 2 hours away from me and id never get to see him and right now hes just not ready for this and so we think this is the best way to go about this. but he said that in the future "we" are a definite possibility. exact words: "sometime when you arent with eric and ive got my life straightened out, we can give this a try." awesome. so i reply: "whenever you are ready...whether im with eric or anyone else...let me know youre ready...because i'll always be ready."

so for now were best of buddies again...and thats it.

written @ 13:13:18 on 2000-09-25
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