*sometimes you just need to love.*

im alone again and im thinking about...

i feel like such a college student this week. on saturday nite i couldnt go out with dustin because i had to stay home and do work. mapping to be exact. monday nite i was in a bar up at kenyon with G for her 21st. got home just after 4 am, after a late nite of drinking, smoking, laughing, singing, picture taking, leno/conan watching, easy mac eating, and keeping warm under a shared teenage mutant ninja turtles blanket. i couldnt have asked for much more. then tuesday i stayed home being sick with this cold, napping, doing more mapping for work and spending forever online. then i proceeded to go into work which once again led to me being awake until nearly 4 am. so this morning i slept late again and napped on the couch all day.

and im sitting here listening to music ive downloaded, wishing i had a visitor to curl up into bed with. ive got a hoodie on to keep me warm and theres a cup of cocoa calling my name.

ask anyone i knew in college. this was my life then too. up all nite whether im sick or not. sleeping all day. spending all my time online instead of doing my work. chain smoking cloves. wishing for a visitor to my bed. i could have just as easily wrote this 3 years ago as i am tonite. and it makes me want to go back to school. i wish sometimes that i had stuck with the grad school choice. i think i would have loved it. ah well. theres always next year.

*****

there are a couple people in my life im worried about. one because of a dream. the other because of what she listens to. i love them both, and i hope im just being paranoid.

written @ 12:09 am on 07.10.04
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