pictures decorate my life.

i dont enjoy my life here. i really dont.

i hate coming home to an empty, messy apartment every day. i hate cooking for just myself. i hate not having a single person that i can just go to and talk to and be with when things are shitty.

im starting to make a friend at work, but its tough going. she has friends of her own and a fiance and a house to take care of. i kind of feel like im intruding. and it might all be for nothing. cause in a little over a month, i can be transferred out of my store whenever JCP feels like it. just one day, boom. goodbye. i dont want to leave yet. im not ready to start all over. im just not.

mostly, itd just be nice to come home to someone that i could talk to. living by yourself is fine, if you have some sort of a life. but when you dont, its really effing hard. and im tired of it.

i want someone to come home to. to curl up in bed with. to visit the city with. to just be with.

im tired of being alone. thats all.

im jealous of hearing all my friends having fun and doing this and that. and im doing nothing. and i hate myself for it. and i want to move home. for the first time in my life, i actually miss the comforts of home. i really really do.

written @ 11:45 am on 15.10.02
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