*sometimes you just need to love.*

hsyterical isnt it?

cause im bored to death and i just got this email. it made me laugh hysterically.

*In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods*

1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping".

[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]

2. On a bag of Fritos:

"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".

[Evidently, the shoplifter special]

3. On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

[And that would be how...?]

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

[But it's *just* a suggestion]

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down".

[Oops, too late!]

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating".

[As sure as night follows the day .....]

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body"

[But wouldn't this save even more time?]

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

[We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness".

[One would hope]

10. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only".

[As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use".

[I gotta admit, I'm curious].

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts".

[NEWS FLASH]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

[Step 3: Fly Delta]

14. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]

no, i did not change anything on this list. this is exactly how i recieved it. hsyterical isnt it?

written @ 10:20 p.m. on 2001-05-08
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