*sometimes you just need to love.*

i really do. really.

so im feeling super bad right now.

im confused. and frustrated.

i cant talk about it here though.

its just too much.

so ill just give you this half-assed entry that i cut and pasted from something i read in the "Post" today. it made me laugh. maybe itll make you laugh too.

THINGS TO DO WHEN TELEMARKETERS CALL YOU

1. Play the game, "I'll answer the question if you do!" When telemarketers ask for your address, income level, sexual preference or I.Q. level, tell them they have to tell you their�s first.

2. Feign interest and stupidity. Repeat the spiel back to the caller in a deliberately unclear fashion, so he will have to explain himself over and over. After about 20 minutes say, "This sounds good, let me go get my mom!" Hand the phone to a friend, who will say, "What? Oh sorry, not interested," and hang up.

3. Become an echo. Every time the telemarketer pauses, repeat the last thing he said.

4. If the telemarketer calls for your roommate, say that your roommate died yesterday. When the solicitor says, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry," say, "I'm not. Now I get the bigger bedroom!" (Note: If you claim your roommate is dead, the telemarketer might try to sell you something instead. If so, tell him you are dead, too.)

5. Sign Fido up for a credit card.

6. While you talk, pull the receiver farther and farther away from your face. Once the telemarketer is straining sufficiently to make out what you're saying, pull the phone back to your mouth and yell.

7. Some telemarketers don't listen very well, particularly when you say no. If they don't listen to you, ignore what they say, too. Tell the telemarketer he has a sexy voice and ask him out on a date. Be persistent. When he refuses, pretend to be deeply hurt because everyone rejects you.

8. Pretend you have schizophrenia or Tourette�s Syndrome.

9. Pretend you are foreign and can't understand them.

10. If the solicitor tries to sell you new siding or windows, tell him you are homeless. In your most pitiful voice, say, "You called a phone booth. Didn't you know that?"

11. When a credit card solicitor asks how you are, go on a rampage about all your personal problems, including how you've just been evicted and your car's been repossessed. Ask them for advice and money.

12. Strike up a conversation about hemorrhoids.

i think my favorite one is #10. its pretty damn funny.

okie i suck. sorry. i just cant write anything today, so i had to copy someone elses. hell. i had to wait until 11 o'clock at nite to do it too. i really feel bad. im sorry.

written @ 03:55:11 on 2001-02-27
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