can we say "back tightness"?

im confused and crying and depressed as hell and chain smoking...what a way to start the week...i know its tuesday...bite me.

i just got an email from my friend at home about what happened with josh this weekend. she said i had his world spinning--and i burst into tears. this sucks.i know the only thing keeping us apart is the distance--2 hours by car.

the distance isnt a problem for me...sure itll suck not to be able to see him alot, but ill deal with it somehow. the distance is a definite factor for him though...plus i think hes a little scared because were such good friends. what if it doesnt work out, and we end up hating each other? ill go insane i think if that happens. hell im almost insane now...this is reeking havoc on my emotional system. i keep saying i really like eric and dont want to give him up for nothing in return, but the truth is...if i really liked him that much...i never would have done anything with josh...nothing. but i did...so do i just like the fact that hes here? i hope not...thats shitty of me if its true. cause hes wonderful, sweet, smart, cute, and funny.

im so confused...what am i going to do? get a shrink i think.

written @ 18:06:06 on 2000-09-26
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